The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
