Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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