I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
