Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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