hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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