I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
