Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
