you would pick up someone in the library
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
