I puked a lego.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
