You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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