I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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