We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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