erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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