I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
This girl is more easily done than said...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
