Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We need to rekindle our bromance
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
