im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
