Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
