i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
smell my finger.
do herpes really smell.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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