Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
