Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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