I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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