Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
