She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
not ubering you a puppy
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
