i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
