Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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