he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
