if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
