For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
