I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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