I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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