Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
