I wish I could teleport
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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