we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
