I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
