You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
organizing the empties. That sober.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
