i just had sex bonerless
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
