I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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