I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
