I feel like abortions should bother me more
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
