I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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