I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
