its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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