Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
