I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
