Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
