In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
