Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
