why didn't you poke me back
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
