420 ftw
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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