please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
